Does Difference In Age Matter In Relationships?
Does Difference In Age Matter In Relationships?
Age gap is among the most pertinent issues in relationships. Conventionally, man has been the older partner in most relationships. However, changes in age gap perspectives are clearly evident in modern day relationships. It is not uncommon for the female to be the older colleague. This scenario is mostly evident among celebrities. In essence, most people seem to allude to the old adage that age is just but a mere number. The implications of age gap in relationships are far and wide.For some people, a big gap appears strange while it is a compliment to others. Consequently, it is fundamentally essential to examine the different perspectives pertaining to age in relationships.
Different researchers and authors have sought to demystify the different perceptions underlying age gap in relationships. According to some authors, age makes a difference in relationships. For this category of thinkers, they mostly argue against a wide gap in relationships. For instance, they are assertive that a wide gap forms the basis of discriminative behavior among partners.On the other hand, some category of thinkers argues that age gap has little significance on a relationship. Based on their arguments, there are numerous issues that determine the success of relationships rather than age gap. This essay seeks to examine two contrasting arguments pertaining to the significance of age difference in relationships.
Argument against Large Age Gaps
In this publication, Cupach & Spitzberg (2010) present different perspectives about the shortcomings of larger age gaps in relationships. One of the most notable arguments as evident in this publication is that a large age gap causes emotional imbalance in a relationships. In essence, people from different age groups have different levels of maturity. This mostly applies to emotional control. A younger person is substantially susceptible to emotional distress than the older partner. All relationships have ups and downs.The capacity of the couple to deal with these challenges depends on their emotional maturity. The lack of emotional maturity can tremendously undermine the couple’s capacity to deal with relationship challenges and conflicts. According to Cupach & Spitzberg, the probability of emotional immaturity in a couple with a small age gap is extremely minimal.
Apart from emotional immaturity, another pertinent perspective with regard to the shortcomings of large age gap pertains to financial management (Cupach, 2010). Disagreements about financial management have been significant contributors towards conflicts in relationships.It is fundamentally crucial for a couple to have a similar approach towards the management of finances. However, this is extremely difficult in relationships that have large age gaps. The financial priorities of the two partners might not necessarily be the same. This creates a platform for disagreements as the couple argues on how to spend finances. In the United States, financial disagreements have been among the most notable causes of divorce. According to Cupach & Spitzberg (2010), such disagreements are avoidable if couples maintain a small age gap. Another shortcoming of large age gaps pertains to disrespect. The older partner will most likely demand unconditional respect from the younger partner. This is sufficient recipe for conflicts and disagreements in relationships.
Argument for Large Age Gaps
In contrast to the first argument, this author argues that age gap does not make a difference in relationships. An excellent relationship is founded on strong bonds of love. According to Paludi (2012), the lack of genuine love is the main source of conflicts in relationships. Prior to entering into a relationship, it is essential for individuals to ensure that they are ready for commitments. This justifies why love plays a crucial role towards maintaining stability in relationships (Paludi, 2012).Although partners might have a significant difference in terms of age, the relationship will always blossom if they are affectionate to each other. From a different perspective, the lack of affection can seriously jeopardize a relationship. It is extremely complex for any relationship to thrive if the partners do not care for each other. According to Paludi (2012), age gap only appeals to the society or family members. A large gap in relationships is acceptable in some societies while the situation is different in other contexts. Similarly, some families might marginalize a couple just because of a large age gap. In essence, a large age gap violates the ethical values of such families. Apart from these kinds of instances, age difference does not really matter in relationships.
Justification of Thesis
Based on the two arguments in the different publications, it is evident that age difference matters in relationships. The arguments by Cupach & Spitzberg (2010) are reliable in various ways. Firstly, the authors examine previous studies prior to making their conclusions. For instance, the publication highlights data pertaining to the average age of partners in different parts of the globe. From the data, most westerners prefer a small gap in relationships while the trend is different in the developing world. For instance, the average age gap for couples in Western Africa is almost 7 years. However, the average in North America is slightly above two years. This presents the disparities in age gap among couples in different parts of the world.
The issue of respect among couples is extremely justifiable even in the real world. In most cases, the younger partner will feel more or less disrespected by the older partner in a relationship. This possibly explains why men dominate women in most marriages in traditional African settings. With a small age gap, the degree of respect is likely to be significantly high. The financial perspectives in relationships are also evident among most couples. The financial priorities for an older person are evidently different from those of a younger partner.
Conclusion
Difference in age is a critical issue in relationships. This assertion is evident throughout the essay. All relationships have ups and downs. The capacity of the couple to deal with these challenges depends on their emotional maturity. The lack of emotional maturity can tremendously undermine the couple’s capacity to deal with relationship challenges and conflicts. Disagreements about financial management have been significant contributors towards conflicts in relationships.It is fundamentally crucial for a couple to have a similar approach towards the management of finances. However, this is extremely difficult in relationships that have large age gaps. The financial priorities of the two partners might not necessarily be the same. Prior to entering into a relationship, it is essential for individuals to ensure that they are ready for commitments. This justifies why love plays a crucial role towards maintaining stability in relationships.
References
Cupach, W. & Spitzberg, B. (2010). The dark side of close relationships. New York: Taylor & Francis
Knox, D. & Schacht, C. (2009). Choices in relationships: An introduction to marriage and the family, Mason, OH: Cengage Learning
Paludi, M. (2012). The psychology of love. Santa Barbara, CA: ABC-CLIO
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