Does Free Online Dating Really Help
Does Free Online Dating Really Help
The development in internet technology and computer technology has improved human interaction. Human beings use electronic internet based media to interact. Readily available websites and programs have improved communication and eliminated time and geographical barriers. The internet has enabled users to access a lot of content and determine users with the same intimate goals. Online dating is a system that permits people, couples and group to communicate with one another and make contact over the internet. The users’ objectives include establishing personal relationships, romantic relationships and sexual relationships. Online dating services offer unmoderated matchmaking over the internet via the use of mobile phones and personal computers. In online dating, users provide personal information before searching for individuals using the criteria they have set like age, location etc.
Additionally, some of the online dating communities permit users to upload their photos and view photos of other users.. The number of people using online dating to find partners and establish relationships has increased due to increase in internet and mobile usage. Users have a different experience when using online dating sites, and this affects them differently. They can have a negative experience or positive experience. Online dating can be helpful or not. Free online dating sites and other dating sites are responsible for producing thousands of relationships annually. Many people have found partners through online dating. Online dating sites have eliminated barriers that prevent people from interacting such as time, geographical and money. Examples of online dating sites are plenty of fish (POF), LavaLife, Match.Com and eHarmony. POF is different from other dating sites as the membership is free.
Though providing free online dating site give people an opportunity to establish relationships, free online dating might not work. Online dating makes it hard for people to achieve their intimate goals due to discrepancies between offline and online identities. The identity users construct about their partners in online dating does not match to the partners identity in real life. The relationships established through online dating do not succeed because of the differences in identity. People only use only free online dating sites to find people they would not have met. The relationships established via inline dating end after people meet face to face and this affects the users negatively. This was evidenced in a research conducted by Quesnel (2010). The researcher examined the effect of online dating on users. He examined whether free online dating was helpful using users from POF dating site. The users had varied experience. Some of the participants claimed that relationships started through online dating did not last as they ended after they met with their partners.
The participants did not achieve their romantic goals due to differences in online identity and offline identity. Users of free online dating sites are less serious, and this affects their relationships with their partners as they do not take them serious. Deception is a major problem in free online dating and causes harm and dissatisfaction to users of online dating sites. Online dating sites such as FOP require their users to provide personal information include gender, age, weight and other physical attributes. Also, the users provide photos to attract users (Epstein 2007). The information enables them to connect with other users by using the information to search for their preferred partners. However, not all online users provide accurate information. Some online users lie about their age, parental status, marital status and income. They also lie about their appearance and profession. There are other websites like don’t date him girl that have faced law suits. The sites have been sued by dissatisfied suitors. Most users either make or female lie about their appearance, weight and age.
This is according to a research done by John Frost and Massachusetts Insitute of technology. The researchers noted that physical appearance is essential for both men and women. Uploading photos in online dating sites enables users get partners. Users interpret the lack of photos negatively. The users believe that users who have not uploaded photos in their profiles do not meet their requirements in terms of physical appearance. On the other hand, users establish relationships with people who have uploaded photos in their profile. The researchers claim that male profiles without photos attract ¼ of the responses of profiles with photos (Epstein 2007). Additionally, female profiles with photos attract 1/6 of the responses of profiles with photos (Epstein 2007). Users use photos to determine whether a person meets their requirements and can help in establishing long term relationships. Some users believe that deception is crucial in courting or forming long term relationships and thus post wring information on their profiles to attract partners (Epstein 2007).
Another research conducted by Guenter Hitsch and Ali Hortacsu of the university of Chicago revealed that the participants (users) had lied about their height and weight (Epstein 2007). The researchers measured the weight and height of the participants and compared the data with the information provided on the profiles. The investigators noted that the participants exaggerated their height by an inch. They also found that women lied more about weight compared to men. Women understated their weight in order to attract male partners (Epstein 2007). Women aged 20 and above overstate their weight more compared to women below 20. Men also lied about their education level, income, height, age and marital status. At least 13% of the online male suitors are married. Researchers have attributed the high rate of deception in online dating to computer mediated communication. They claim that computer mediated communication is disinhibiting and permits users to communicate anything. People in online dating use screen make instead of real names and not governed by social norms.
In addition, the high rate of deception is due to lack of physical clues to evaluate people behavior. People cannot use gestures and facial expressions to evaluate the behaviors of other users. Therefore, online daters construct an ideal self instead of remaining real. Hence, deception makes online dating less helpful as people do not get their suitable match (Epstein 2007). Further, privacy has also affected online dating. Some users engaging in online dating tell the truth in order to ensure the online dating is helpful. Disclosing personal information affects the users negatively as they feel revealing the information affects their impression. The users think disclosing negative attributes affects their impression and hinder them from getting perfect matches. Some men and women provide accurate figures about their income and age. However, this reduces the chances of them getting matches if the income and age does not meet the requirements of other users (Epstein 2007).
Men prefer to date younger women and women aged 29 and above might not get matches if they state their actual age. Security also affects free online dating and make them less helpful. Free online dating sites have a large number of users as many people prefer to use them due to financial constraints. Providing personal information affects a person’s privacy and safety if the wrong people access the information. This has forced users to lie when providing personal information to protect themselves (Quesnel 2010). Another problem of free online dating is the click problem. Commitment is a problem in United States and other countries as people do not show commitment in their marriages. United States has a rate of divorce due to lack of commitment. Most marriages end in divorce because of the commitment. Online dating has affected relationships and increased the rate of divorce as relationships formed through online dating are not successful.
Building long term relationships needs patience, effort and skills. However, online daters do not have patience and strive to ensure the relationship succeeds. Online relationships collapse as the online daters do not like the imperfection in their suitors. Online daters dismiss their suitors if they do not have appropriate height, weight and appearance. Therefore, free online dating is not helpful, and people should avoid online dating and promote conventional dating methods. Convectional dating methods enable people to establish long term relationships that benefit them. It ensures the partners are patient and devoted to making the relationship succeed. This will reduce the divorce rate as marriages will be successful due to commitment (Epstein 2007).
Reference
Epstein, R. The truth about online dating. 2007. Retrieved from http://drrobertepstein.com/pdf/Epstein-TheTruthAboutOnlineDating-2-07.pdf on 30/11/2012
Quesnel, A. Online Dating Study: User Experiences of an Online Dating Community. 2010. Retrieved from http://www.studentpulse.com/articles/323/4/online-dating-study-user-experiences-of-an-online-dating-community on 30/11/2012
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