Knapp’s Staircase Model of Relationship Development
Knapp’s Staircase Model of Relationship Development
The Knapp’s Relational Development model is a model that helps map the progress of interpersonal; relationship between two different people. The model identifies 10 various stages that are divided into 2 related phases. That is coming together and coming apart. The model is crucial in understanding why relationships fail or a successful. The stages identified in the model play an important role in the development of relationships, and one should examine every stage of development by itself. The movement may not be progressive as one can jump from one stage to another. The coming together phase consists of different stages.
My relationship has gone through the stages of the coming together phase. The first stage is initiating. In this case, the impression of two parties involved in a relationship is made when they meet for the first time. During this stage, we made an impression. Various physical factors played an essential function in this stage. The overall appearance we had played a crucial function in the initiation phase. Also, the hair style, perfume and clothing played a vital function. In addition, communication was vital during this stage as both us were friendly and open to discuss anything. However, we did not have deep conversations, but light conversations as we got to know each other. The light conversation helps determine the possibility of having a relationship (Vangelisti & Knapp, 2004).
The second stage is experimentation. In this case, we tried to find a common ground between our lives. We tried to identify common hobbies and interests. We probed each other for information that would enable us to further the social connection. Some of the hobbies included listening to music and riding. Our relationship did not end here but progressed to the intensifying stage. Our relationship developed, and self disclosure became more obvious and deep. In order to encourage relational development we did various things, we gave each other gifts, expressed affection using verbal and non verbal means. Also, asking for a romantic relationship commitment helped in the development of the relationship (Vangelisti & Knapp, 2004).
The next stage is integration. In this stage, our lives started to merge, and our status as a couple was confirmed. Our friends and social groups combined. Additionally, a sexual relationship started, and the level of self disclosure increased. This showed the intimacy of our relationship. The last stage in the coming together phase is bonding. During this stage, the commitment of a relationship is communicated to all people. People communicate the commitment of a relationship through marriage or any other method. We did not communicate the commitment of our relationship to other people. Our relationship has not remained in the bonding stage because of various reasons. Maintaining a relationship at the bonding stage is hard and various factors hinder the efforts to maintain relationships. The relationships do not last due to inability to share power equally. Also, the relationships do not as people do not emphasize positive and meaningful communication patterns. Additionally, people do not make regular connections with each other. Our relationship has not been successful because of lack of positive and meaning communication. In ability to share power equally and lack of regular connections has affected our relationship negatively (Vangelisti & Knapp, 2004).
Our relationship has progressed to the differentiating stage. Parties exploit differences rather than commonalities during the differentiating phase. People find it hard to work together and instead value individualism. People also feel being held down and resentful to their commitment to their partners. Most people opt to separate to overcome the challenges. As a couple, we have not exploited the commonalities we identified in the experimenting and intensifying stages, but we have concentrated on our differences. We are unable to work together, and each person works alone. We have opted to separate in order to solve problems (Vangelisti & Knapp, 2004).
However, our relationship has not progressed to other stages including circumscribing, stagnation, avoidance and termination. In circumscribing stage, the parties shift from concentrating on differences to setting restrictions and boundaries on communication between them. Communication between the parties becomes shallower and do not have many topics to talk about. Parties fear discussing topics in detail due to avoid conflict. This results to less communication especially personalized communication. The parties stop sharing secrets and other personal things. If the relationship continues to decline, it enters into the stagnation stage. This stage is characterized by problems experienced in the circumscribing stage. Communication becomes restricted and less regular. Stagnant relationships stop growing and instead the partners feel there is nothing that changes. The relationships enter the avoidance stage. The parties take limited communication to a physical state. The partners start avoiding each other and desire to separate from each other. The last stage is the termination stage. In this stage, the relationships stop completely. Parties can save their relationship during this stage, but they may not be able to bring the relationship to the initial stages such as intensifying, initiating, experimenting etc. Terminating a relationship might not have an adverse effect on the parties involved if they want to pursue their goals (Vangelisti & Knapp, 2004).
The model will help me in the future as I will be able to understand the progress of my relationships and identify factors that make my relationships successful or not successful. This will help develop proper strategies to overcome the challenges I will face. Also, I will be able to avoid mistakes that I have made before regarding relationships (Vangelisti & Knapp, 2004).
Reference
Vangelisti, A.L., & Knapp, M.L. (2004). Interpersonal communication and human relationships (5th ed). United States: Allyn & Bacon
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