Professional email
A business email is different from a personal email. The email written by the manager to me according to the provided scenario is not a professional message. It is a massage that shows a friendly form of communication and the manager wrote in this manner because he is asking for me to do him a favor. To write the email to the hundred employees, I am expected to send the same information given by the manager, in a professional manner since I am speaking on his behalf. I have to consider aspects like politeness, courtesy, word choice, punctuation and spelling. My tone should be business like and professional. From the given message, I have to separate the professional aspects like the installation of the phone system, the training session
to be conducted on Thursday and Friday, time of the training, and that the training is mandatory which has to be attended only once by each employee. These professional aspects are to be separated from the unprofessional aspects of the message which include the morning salutation this will be changed to a general salutation like Hi. Also the Good news aspect can be eliminated. The total number of employees should be eliminated in the professional email. Finally, the polite request from the manager for me to do him a favor of letting other employees know of the new development is no where related to the final email to the employees.Sending the final email to employees requires that I first get approval from the manager (Kolin, 2009, pp 134-37). I should not change the key words of the message. Considering these requirements of a professional email, the final memo will appear like the one below:
To: < (List of employees email addresses @ businesspatners.Com>
From: <Ann. Mac [email protected]>;
Date: 8th November, 2010
Subject: Installation of the new phone system
Hi,
At last, our Business Partners Company has finally managed to install the new technology of phone system. This new technology will increase our work efficiency leading to high production. It is advisable for everyone to be well conversant with the use of this phone system to enable an easy way to communication in reaching our partners, clients, customers and within the business department.
Mandatory training sessions will be carried out on Thursday and Friday from 10:00 am to 11: am for educating each one of us on how to use the new voicemail and phone system. The Thursday training session should be attended by the first employees working under the production department while the Friday session will be attended by the remaining fifty employees under the sales department.
Your cooperation will is highly appreciated.
Thank you
Ann Mac Donald
Reference
Kolin P (2009) Successful Writing at Work. Edition9, Publisher Cengage Learning, pp 134-37
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