Legitimate Romantic Relationship
This essay paper will argue that it is possible for a legitimate romantic relationship to include more that two individuals. It is possible to have a legitimate romantic relationship by eliminating the element of deception between the individuals involved. This can be achieved by informing all parties involved. When the parties involved in a romantic relationship have knowledge about their relationship and respect one another, then it is possible for the romantic relationship to work out. Moreover, the relationship will be more fulfilling since there no sense of having a guilty conscience due to committing adultery (Singer, 2009). Most societies worldwide condemn the act of adultery especially in marriages. Therefore when all individuals in a polyamorous relationship know each other, there is no adultery involved.Jealousy is part of human nature and this is what makes majority of polyamorous relationships to be viewed negatively. It is essential not to allow the fear of jealousy to rule one’s actions. This fear is the one that discourages individuals from engaging in relationships having multiple partners. It is possible for a group of adults to get way past jealousy and agree of having a strong romantic relationship. It is possible to move through jealousy if the individuals involved in the romantic relationship are constantly assured of love and given the opportunity to grow both personally and emotionally.
One can not overlook the fact that jealousy does exist in polyamorous relationships. Jealousy has been viewed as a moral indignation that people are entitled to when they seem to believe that the love that is meant to be rightfully theirs is bestowed onto someone else. However, on the other hand it is worth noting that there also exists compassion, understanding, sharing and love. Love in addition to the mentioned elements makes polyamory a worthwhile experience (Singer, 2009). Since children are comfortably taught not to be jealous when a new member or child is added into their family, it should be possible for individuals in a relationship to remove the element of jealousy and accept to having a romantic relationship involving more that two individuals. According to Singer, love may have three definitions. The first definition is appraisal, the second definition is bestowal while the third definition is a mixture of both appraisal and bestowal. Singer thinks that if one attempts to define love as either appraisal or bestowal, problems may arise. The same case applies to romantic relationships where choosing of partners depend solely on looking at particular qualities or traits. One individual may possess a given desirable trait while another individual may possess extra or more superior qualities. Having legitimate relationship with both individuals is healthy and will reinforce the qualities considered. Therefore, if love is viewed as containing both the elements of appraisal and bestowal, it is possible to have a legitimate relationship that includes more than two individuals (Singer, 2009).
For love to be complete, it has to include both appraisal and bestowal aspects. It is almost impossible a single partner to fulfill both aspects and hence, there is need to have more individuals to be involved. Love is the integral part of any relationship and it is an uplifting process that makes relationships worthwhile. This same love has to be complete so that it can create meaning to romantic relationships. Therefore, by defining love using a single aspect, either appraisal or bestowal, it becomes impossible to have a happy and fulfilling romantic relationship. One romantic partner may serve the role of appraisal while the other two or more may play the role of bestowal. The process of love is thus complete with more that two individuals involved (Singer, 2009).Most Romantic relationships are based on one partner looking for desirable qualities in the other party. It is possible for two or more individuals for instance two ladies to share the same qualities that a man is looking for in a lady. According to Soble, individuals have no reason to choose one partner over the other partner and yet both of them possess the same qualities. This presents a dilemma in the definition of love and existence of romantic relationship between two individuals who view each other as non-replaceable. If love is appraisal, then there is no need to treat partners in romantic relationships as non-replaceable entities (Singer, 2009).
Some individuals may object polyamory with the claim that such relationships are not legally recognized and hence, they are immoral. They view polyamorists as immoral individuals. Well, it is inappropriate to conclude that all illegal actions are immoral. The fact that polyamory has not been officially legalized does not justify to term the practice as immoral. It is inappropriate to prejudice multiple individuals having a romantic relationship. Perhaps it is possible to find a case where polyamorists are much happier and in more fulfilling relationships than their monogamous counterparts.There is also an objection to polyamory based on the fact that love is a finite entity. This implies that it is possible to share romantic love with a single person due to the fact that love is indivisible. It further claims that it is almost impossible to divide love between two or more individuals since each individual will get an extremely small portion of it. It is vital to always keep in mind that love is an emotional feeling and not an object that can be divided into small pieces .It is therefore possible to bestow the same amount of love to different individuals at the same time. It is essential to view love as a feeling and not an entity. By doing this, the many polyamorous relationships will work out.
Conclusion
It is illogical to declare and come up with conclusions indication that polyamory does not work. Excuses such as jealousy and the claim that polyamory is immoral are not enough evidence to rule out the practice. So long as the parties involved in the romantic relationship have consent and understanding, it is possible to maintain the relationship. Elimination elements of jealousy and deception are of the essence. Elimination of deception is attained through having consent from individuals involved in a romantic relationship. Jealousy on the other hand is an emotional feeling that one can easily get through. Hence, it is possible for a legitimate romantic relationship to include more than two individuals.
Reference
Singer, I. (2009) The Nature of Love: Pluto to Luther. MIT Press.
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