A Literature Search on Grieving Process

  A Literature Search on Grieving Process

Elisabeth Kubler-Ross has profoundly dedicated her work and profession on understanding grief, as well as, grieving. She wrote a theoretical book about fear of death and humans inevitable acceptance of it. The five stages of grief randomly include; Depression, anger, denial, acceptance and bargaining. These stages have continually been the experience since time in memorial; however, people have always misunderstood them as a result of emotional disorder.  Kubler-Ross argues that these stages were never meant to package messy emotions in orderly. Rather they are reactions to loss that many people experience. Furthermore, there is no typical loss for all since an individual’s grief is as individual as his or her life.  The five stages of the grief get to be part of the structure that creates an individual’s lesson on how to live with the loss of a loved one.  These stages are tools that help us structure and acknowledge what we may be experiencing. Nevertheless, they are not halts on some linear timeline in grief. Additionally, not every person goes from first to last all the phases as in the prescribed arrangement. The five stages of the grief process are meant to help people cope up with the loss of their loved ones (Kessler D& Kubler-Ross E, 2012).

In the biblical view of Job’s suffering and grief, Job was a Hebrew man who lived faithfully as required by God. The accepted theology of his day profoundly suggested that God rewarded the righteous in the earthly life, so Job got prosperous in his time because he was faithful to God’s command.  However, the proverbial belief got overturned on the reigning theology when a faithful gentleman met with tragedy. In the heavenly courts, God was bragging about his diligent and faithful servant Job. Satan, the accuser argued that Job had every reason to stay righteous because God had blessed him with abundant wealth.

Then Satan told God that if he removed the hedge of protection around Job, Job would deny him and forsake his decent life. On hearing this, Got permitted Satan to go and torment Job. Furthermore, he bestowed on him the power to attack everything under jobs possession excluding his Soul (Job 1:9, 10).  Jobs servants were attacked and killed by Sabeans, who also stole all the oxen and donkeys. As if not enough, the lightning struck and murdered Job’s shepherds and sheep. More servants got killed by the Chaldean raiders, who also went away with all the camels. His children also got killed in astonishing storm while they were making merry in the oldest son’s apartment.  Later on, Satan borrowed permission to attack Job’s physical body and God granted him, but cautioned him not to tough his Soul.  Jobs story correlates to Kubler-Ross’s grieving process in the following ways:

 First and foremost, when Job received the information he tore his clothes in grief.” I got born with nothing, and I will die with nothing.

The Lord gave and now He has taken away. May his name be glorified” (Job 1: 21). This reaction compare to the first stage “denial” which enabled Job to cope and survive with the loss.  Job’s denial created his path for healing since he knew where to address this grief. He focused on God and instead of grumbling with anger he praised God. This response in some way goes contrary to the second process of Anger; since instead of Job reacting out of anger to blame God for his loss he went on to praise him. In addition, Job did not bargain with God about his loss/misfortune rather he humbled himself and worshiped God.  On the fourth stage, “Depression” stage gets reflected on how Job complains about suffering and wishes he was never born to see this tragic incident. At this stage, he wishes to die and flee away from this torture and unending pain. In this situation, Job continues to put his faith in God without losing hope. The acceptance stage in Job’s situation comes earlier in the denial stage. Conversely, this stage goes contrary to Kubler-Ross’s fifth grieving process.  Furthermore, Job’s first response after learning that he had lost his siblings and other possessions; portrayed his acceptance.

The relationship between joy and the above grieving models gets established when a person accepts the loss and learns to live with it. In most cases, joy is a feeling that cannot be felt during the grieving periods, but after an individual accepts the loss and proceeds on with life Joy automatically falls in place. Grieving suppresses joy and especially in the denial stage since an individual finds no pleasure grieving circumstances.  Since an individual’s grief is as individual as his own life, grieving to some people would relate to their joy because the loss gets equivalent to their grief. For example, losing someone who had exorbitant pain is a painful loss; however, it brings joy after his suffering is gone.  This research has completely changed by perception of grief and loss. Through understanding how the five stages promote the healing process am now in a better position to handle loss and grief. In addition, according to the biblical story of Job I have acknowledged that angering against God does not ease the pain; thus praising his is the best alternative.

                                                       References:

Essortment (2011) The book of Job and suffering Retrieved on 12/14/12 from http://www.essortment.com/book-job-suffering-43907.html

Kessler D& Kubler-Ross E (2012) The Five Stages of Grief retrieved on 12/14/12 from    http://grief.com/the-five-stages-of-grief/

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